Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
