Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
