plz talk dirty to me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Even my vagina gasped.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize