i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
