If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
