You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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