JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think people are normalizing furries
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
