It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize