I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
