pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
