First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
