if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
