I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
