I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
