good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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