what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
