i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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