But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
