I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
