Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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