apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize