so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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