I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He felt like a one man threesome
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
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