4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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