Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
