I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we're making bets on your personal life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
