What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The struggles of a small town man whore
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
