I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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