K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You left your phone here
Wait...
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