Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
