I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
