drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
that may or may not have been my penis.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
