Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why is your signature on my underwear?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize