Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
