You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
