He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
