Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
