dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We are two peas in an std pod
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
