you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
