Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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