We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
