the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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