is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
