as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
