we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
