I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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