I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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