You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
