You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
