Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
