Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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