I'm lost and stupid without you.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
