1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
