sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its not stalking. its research.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
