Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
