Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I want a musical about memes.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
