just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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