Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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