You're so nebulous sometimes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
