I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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