youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
