So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
