Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize