You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
