hotel room ftw
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
