we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's shark week go big or go home
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
