He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
